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“Oh my gawd DONE! I finished checking that whatever place for suspicious shit sire.” You said sarcastically to Roy as you walked into his office.

“Good. And it’s not a whatever place, it’s an abandoned town. Now give me your report, ________.” Roy said, crossing his arms.

“Okay. So, it was dark and creepy as hell everywhere, and there were an awful lot of creepy sounds. So aside from being a prime rape zone, totally unoccupied. Then I went into an alley. Not so fine there.” You said.

“And what makes it not so fine?” Roy persisted.

“Ah, just some dumbasses. Rebel alchemists misusing alchemy. I didn’t think there would be people that pathetic there, but anything’s possible. So they saw me and thought it would be fun to try and kill me. Bad idea. They were psychotic drunks so they missed. Naturally I smashed their faces in with my lovely fist.” You said, smacking your fist into your hand for emphasis.

“Oh god, go on.” Roy groaned, lightly face palming.

“Right. So they didn’t like my punch to their face so they started running away. Of course they weren’t going to get away THAT easily. And I know I said I was going to take it down a notch with my alchemy, but I couldn’t resist having them smash into a wall and then being frozen into a block of ice.” You said grinning.

“Oh wow. So you enjoy smashing people into walls and freezing them. Great.” Roy rolled his eyes. “So is that it? Just some rebel alchemists?”

“Yup.” You answered. “They are now contained. I made sure. Though they were kinda already contained when I froze them.” You laughed.

“Ahhhhh, only you, _______.” Edward said, walking into Roy’s office.


Ed laughed. “Woah! Sorry! Didn’t mean to scare ya!”

“Y-you didn’t scare me! Just…startled me, a bit!” You stammered, trying to not look like you just crapped yourself.

“Suuuuure.” Ed grinned. “Anyways, Roy, here’s that envelope you wanted.” He added, throwing down a thick brown envelope.

“Thanks. Now go do whatever Edward’s do.” Roy said bluntly, brushing him off.

“Awww! But I wanna do something fuuun! I ‘m stuck here being your damn delivery boy! Gimme a mission!” Ed whined.

“There are none for you.” Roy responded.

“But she gets to go on missions!” He complained, pointing at you.

“She gets missions because hers are different from yours. Her alchemy isn’t as strong as yours, but she also has the most unbelievable type of alchemy. Remember? She’s an any alchemist. So she get more missions to train and improve.” Roy said.

An any alchemist is a rare type of alchemist. Being one means you master elemental alchemy such as earth, wind, fire, water, all that jazz. And you can master basic alchemy, mind alchemy, alchemy that involves controlling solids like walls, basically any alchemy known in history. Hence the name, any alchemist.

“Come ON!” Ed persisted.

“No. She’s done for today anyways. Both of you go home. Or to your dorms, or down to the café. Just do something.” Roy grumbled.

“Well that escalated quickly.” You said. “And I’m out. PEACE!” You added, leaving Roy’s office.

“Hey! Don’t leave me with the super bitchy butt head!” Ed yelled, running after you.

“WHAT DID YOU CALL ME?!” Roy yelled, standing up and slamming his hands on his desk. “I WILL KILL YOU FULLMETAL!”


You were walking down the hall and you heard footsteps approaching you from behind. You turned around to see Ed running up to you.

“Sup!” You greeted casually.

“I did NOT want to be left there with him!” Ed panted.

“Oh yeah. If I remember correctly, you called him a super bitchy butt head? Followed by screaming threats involving killing you?” You grinned.

“YES! So why didn’t you help me!” Edward asked.

“Because I was already walking.” You replied.


“Oh whatever! You’re here now! So let’s go down to the café and get something to drink.” You said.

Ed nodded and walked with you down a few flights of stairs to the main floor. When you reached the café, you found that Riza, Havoc, Fuery, and Al, were there. Along with a few other people.

“BROTHER! _______! HEY!” Al called, spastically waving his hand.

You walked over to greet Al who was standing next to Havoc and Riza.

“Hey Al!” You smiled.

“Hi _______!” Al grinned back. “How was your last mission?”

“Sorta fun! Sending some rebel alchemists to jail after ramming them into a wall and freezing them is AWESOME!”

Riza, Havoc, and Al laughed at your short story before Ed piped up.

“Yeah she gets missions and I don’t!” He continued to complain.

“Oh quit whining!” You scolded.

“_______’s right. You shouldn’t whine. It’s bad for your health! … I think.” Havoc said.

“…What? Dude, someone has obviously been lacing your cigarettes with something.” Ed said, shaking his head.

You shook your head and face palmed while Havoc gave his cigarette a puff, not giving a shit.

“Ed, it can’t really be helped that you don’t get many missions anymore.” Riza said. “Ever since you got Al’s body back, things haven’t been as crazy around here. Just a few rouges here and there. Though you still have your automail.”

“Yeah, I guess you’re right. It should be a good thing.” Ed admitted.

“Unless more homunculi are born or current ones begin to act up again.” Al added.

“I guess so. But it gets so boring around here!” Edward said, leaning on a table.

“Ah, you’ll be fine!” Havoc said. “You’re an Elric! You can make fun out of pretty much anything!” He added, punching Ed’s right arm. Half a second later he was shaking his hand in pain.

“You alright there Havoc?” Ed asked, smiling.

“Yeah, yeah. Fine! I forgot about the automail though!” Havoc said dumbly. “Didn’t hurt you though?”

“Pfff, no! Felt nothing!” Ed smiled.

You thought about it for a second. Not being able to feel anything in his automail. That really had to suck.

“Lucky bastard! My fist still hurts!” Havoc grumbled.

“It’s not that lucky. Not being able to feel things.” You said blankly.

“Ah, it can’t be THAT bad. Like when you’re pissed, you can punch a wall and say, FATALITY!” Havoc joked.

“That’s nice Havoc.” Riza said, rolling her eyes. “ We’ll just make sure to lock you in a room if you get automail.”

Havoc started complaining and got in a bitch fight with Riza. Five seconds later, Riza pulled a gun on Havoc, making him squeal like a little girl and run away. You halted Riza for a moment, only to replace her pistol with a Nerf dart gun. You told her it was for the safety of everyone else, and that there was no need for a dead unit.

She took the gun and proceeded to fire at Havoc while he did barrel rolls over and under tables, trying not to get shot. Ed, Al, and you were dying of laughter.

“Well just to be sure that I don’t get hit by those darts, I’m gonna head back to our house. You coming
Al?” Ed asked.

“Yup!” Al exclaimed happily, bouncing out the door.

“Hey Ed! Wait a sec!” You called, stopping him.

“Yeah? What’s up?”

“Um, I was wondering if I could maybe stop by your place today. So I can get into your library of course!” You said awkwardly.

“Sure! What time though?” He asked.

“Probably a bit after you get home, cause I have to drop things off at my place first.” You responded.

“Um, okay! See you later then I guess.” Edward said, leaving the room.

When he left the room, Al was waiting for him just outside the door.

“So, she asked if she could stop by today?” Al asked.

“Yes. She wanted to use our library. Now let’s go.” Ed responded putting on his red cloak and beginning to walk away.

“Oooh, you’re sooo happy about that aren’t you?” Al grinned, kicking off the wall he was leaning on.

“And I know whyyyy!”

“Alphonse, keep your damn mouth shut, or I will fricking kill you.” Ed said bluntly.

Al just laughed and left the building with Ed. You were just finishing gathering your things and stuffing them in our bag.

“Bye guys!” You called once everything was in order.

Everyone waved bye to you on your way out, and Riza shot Havoc in the middle of him waving, making your leave even better.


“There! Not like I need anything else.” You said cheerfully to yourself.

You had put all your things away and changed from your nasty clothes from the mission into something more comfortable. Some black polyester and cotton shorts and a see-through-ish shirt. It was white with a blue beachy background on the front. Perfect for the warm weather.

Everything was together so you grabbed your bag and headed out the door. After you left your house , it was a quick walk down the block to reach Ed’s. Once you were at the door, you knocked and waited. No answer. You knocked again and heard scrambling inside, then Al calling “just a minute!”

Clearly something interesting was going on in there, so you decided to have a bit of fun.

“Heeeey! Open ze door!” You said in a German accent, scratching the door. “I vant to come iiiiiinn!”

You heard Al laugh and open the door for you.

“Hey! Come in instead of leaving scratch marks on the door!”

“Thank you! It’s about time!” You said, walking in.

“So you remember where the library is, right? Downstairs, down the hall and in the room to your left.” Al reminded you.

“Yep! I remember!” You nodded. “Thanks for letting me use it! I don’t know any better place to go that
isn’t that crowded library.”

“Any time! Have fun!” Al said.

You ran to the stairs and jumped down nearly all of them into the basement. You then ran down the hall and skidded more than half the distance to the door, stopping in front of it. You opened the door and threw your stuff inside. Before you walked in and closed the door behind you, you saw Ed walk by rather quickly and start to head upstairs.

“Hi Ed!” You greeted, just as his foot met the first step.

“Oh, h-hey!” Ed responded, halting on the first step.

“So, what was all that scrambling around for that I heard when I knocked on your door?”

“Oh, nothing. I have some, um… business to attend to. Sorry” Edward said quickly, running up the stairs.

“Okay then.” You said to yourself as you walked into the library, closing the door behind you.


It was six o’clock, but you hadn’t realized it yet. You were totally absorbed in the alchemy books. It was as if you were in a completely different world. The particular book you were reading was about reconstructing and deconstructing alchemy.

Time ticked on by for another half hour until an extremely loud bang from upstairs startled you. You checked the time which brought you a good reality check.

“Oh crap! It’s kinda late!” You said, slamming the book shut with a marker in it. “Maybe if I ask, they won’t mind if I stay a little longer to read some more.” You thought aloud.

You decided to ask because you were learning quite a bit. You got up and ran upstairs to see who was around. When you came into the living room, no one was in sight.

“Huh. I wonder where they are.” You asked yourself. “Maybe in the kitchen.”

You walked into the kitchen. Ed was there, leaning on the counter, head down, looking agitated. He was wearing his back pants and just his black tank top. You had to admit, he looked pretty hawt like that. But you were still concerned, so you approached him, wondering what the problem was.

“Hey, what’s up?” You asked.

Ed quickly raised his head up in surprise, banging it on the cupboard.

“Oh crap! Dude, you okay? I didn’t mean to startle you!” You apologised.

“Ah, no, I’m fine. Just a bump.” He assured you, rubbing the back of his head.

You sighed. “Okay good!”

“So you needed something?”

“Oh yeah! I wanted to know if I could stay a bit longer. There are sooooo many good books!’

“Sure, why not?” Ed smiled.

“And one more thing. When I was down there, I heard a loud bang not too long ago. What was that?” You asked.

“Oh that. Al was being and ass and pissing me off. He never does that much, but today he just did. The slam was him slamming the door on his way out and I punched a wall in frustration. Don’t worry, there is no hole. Just a dent.” He explained.

“Wait, you punched a wall?! Didn’t that hurt?! Holy crap!”

“No. Cause I punched it with this hand.” He said, holding up his right arm. His automail arm.

“Oh yeah. You can’t feel things with that arm.” You said blankly.

“Yeah. Makes beating things up easier.” He said, leaning his back on the counter.

You stared at his arm. It saddened you that he had no feeling in his arm.

“So, when they connected your nerves to this thing, feeling wasn’t an option?” You asked, leaning on the counter beside him.

“Nope. I kinda wish it was though.” Ed responded.

“I thought it would be…” You trailed off, putting your head down.

“Oh, there’s no need to have sympathy for me. It was my choice, and I was young when I made it. But
it’s not as bad as you think.” Ed assured you. “It’s not like it’s your fault.”

“But still. That doesn’t seem very fair to me.” You said.

Ed sighed, not really knowing what to say.

Both of you just stood there for a while. You began staring at his arm again. You’ve seen it a million times, but you just felt different this time and you were compelled to stare at it.

Then, out of nowhere, you just put your hand on his arm. It’s not like he would notice right away, cause he can’t feel. His automail was cold, just as you expected. But you felt eyes on you. You looked up to see Ed staring at you and his face was deep red. Why? You barely had hour hand on his arm for five seconds.

“Um, why are you staring at me?” You asked.

“Y-your hand is…” Ed tried to say.

“Yeah. It’s on your arm. But how did you know it was there so quickly? I mean you can’t-” You started, but stopped yourself.

His arm was suddenly warm. What the hell?!

“Your arm!” You said in a surprised voice.

Ed had nothing to say. He just stared at you with a deep blush on his face.

“You’re still staring at me.” You painted out. “And why is your face so red?”

“I, um… nothing! Just my arm… and you…” Ed stuttered.

“Wait, can you feel this?” You said, catching on a bit.

You took your hand and ran it from his shoulder all the way down to his fingertips. He shuddered when you did that.

“Did you just shudder?” You asked. No response. “Did, did you just feel that?”

“…Yeah. I think I can feel.”

“Oh my god HOW!” You said, completely shocked.

Ed was still silent.

“Say something! This is a complete miracle! I’m going to go numb standing here!”

“And now… I think I want to feel more.” He said, face still red.

Your face began to take on a red tinge. “Y-you what?”

“So, are you numb from standing there? If you are, then can you feel this?” Ed said, putting his hands on your waist and pulling you into a kiss.

You didn’t expect that at all. You almost pushed him away in shock, but truthfully you liked it, only because it was him. Your heart beat faster and your face heated up. On the inside, you were completely flipping shit. But you began to relax and you closed your eyes. Your hand was still on his automail but your other moved up and around his neck.

When you parted for air, you were smiling slightly, and looking away a bit.

“Are ya mad?” Ed asked, smiling deviously.

“N-no. I didn’t mind.” You responded, still looking away.

“Good!” Ed said. “But there’s a little problem.”

“Problem?” You said, looking at him all confused.

“This is a new sense. I can feel, and I know what it’s like to kiss someone beautiful. I want to have more of that!” He grinned, crossing his arms.

You laughed lightly. Answering what he said, you went back into his arms and pulled him into another kiss.

Ed wasn’t messing around this time. Your kissing was harder and he had pulled you up onto the counter. It wasn’t a little sweet kiss anymore.

Before anything serious happened, Al had suddenly opened the door and walked straight into the kitchen.

“Oh hey, sorry for “intruding.” Having fun?” Al said with a smart assed tone and a smirk.

Al’s loud entrance startled the both of you.

“Oh shut up Al.” Edward said bluntly.

“Y’know there’s a room upstairs.”

“Oh piss of man!” You said from behind Ed.

“Mmmm hmmm. Imma listen to you!” Al said, acting like an idiot.

“Oh, here’s some interesting info. Ed can feel with his automail now.”

“And we’ll be in the library. BYE!” Ed said, picking you up and running down the stairs with you.

“Wait, WHAT! HE CAN WHAT?” Al screamed at you, chasing you down the stairs.

Al couldn’t catch up with you. You and Ed had just made it into the library and locked the door behind you. You were both laughing your ass off at the dumbfounded Alphonse outside the door. He could hear the details later. So you just sat in the library for the rest of the day, “studying.” (Yeah right!)
FINALLY! ITS UP! :iconfuckyeahplz: God. This was supposed to be up like a month ago! But a bunch of shit got in the way and i was distracted. I didn't finish typing it until 5 minutes ago! AGH!
Let's date this experience, shall we?

Year: 2013
Month: July
Day: 11th
Time: 6:12
Status: :iconfaceshovelplz:
Add a Comment:
VocaloidFan16 Featured By Owner 3 days ago  Student Traditional Artist
Girl: Do u even want to be with me forever?
Boy: No
Girl: Do u even like me?
Boy: No
Girl: Would u cry if i walked away?
Boy: No
She heard enough and was hurt... She walked away with tears in her eyes
The boy grabbed her arm
Boy: Your not pretty...your beautiful
Boy: I dont want to be with u forever...I need to be with u forever
Boy: I dont like u...I love u
Boy: I wouldn't cry if u walked away......I would die if u walked away.
Boy Whispers: Plz stay with me
Girl: I will...
*Tonight at midnight your true love will realize they loves u
*Something good will happen to u at 1-4pm
*Tomorrow it could be anywhere!!!
*Get ready for the shock of your life!
*If u dont post this to 5 other comments... You will have baD luck in relationships for the next 10 years
Just seeming if this works. If not, I'm sorry for spamming!
Artgirl1313 Featured By Owner Edited May 13, 2015  Hobbyist Artist
-later(Roy tracked down ed)- 
mustang: ______! FULLMETAL!!!!
____: oh crap,EVERYBODY RUN!!!!!
as edward and _____ ran the flame alchemist was throwing fire at both of them.
larainne01 Featured By Owner Apr 26, 2015
"you master elemental alchemy such as earth, wind, fire, water" I'M THE AVATAR OF ALCHEMY, STEP AWAY BÎTCHES!!
UndeadWitchSoul Featured By Owner Apr 9, 2015  New member Hobbyist Artist
In our face Roy you are a supper b*tchy butthead so ed is right as usually
UnlimtedFangirling Featured By Owner Apr 7, 2015  New member
theotakugurl Featured By Owner Mar 26, 2015  Student General Artist
That was funny! I really liked it!!! XD
deviantdivergence Featured By Owner Mar 24, 2015  Hobbyist General Artist
smart ass al = my son
Kyokotoshino Featured By Owner Feb 25, 2015
I need more of als smart ass comments 
Shy-Little-Wolf-Pup Featured By Owner Feb 13, 2015  Hobbyist Writer
I was listening to the sound track and when Al walked in on the kissing the perfect son came on XDDDD
CypherOptics Featured By Owner Feb 13, 2015  Hobbyist Writer
Shy-Little-Wolf-Pup Featured By Owner Feb 13, 2015  Hobbyist Writer
XD i know right?

this is why people should have playlists going when they read stories, things like this might happen
SpreadxYourxWingsxx Featured By Owner Feb 8, 2015  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Was that rape comment necessary?
SpreadxYourxWingsxx Featured By Owner Feb 8, 2015  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
You didn't have to describe it as a rape zone. You could have just left it as a dark eery place. Wow, you're very immature.
CypherOptics Featured By Owner Feb 8, 2015  Hobbyist Writer
Yes it was, because that's what the was. Speak it as it was. If a dark sketchy place is home to predators, it's a rape zone. Simple as that. 
Animecookiesenpai8 Featured By Owner Feb 2, 2015
Lol 😂 
homestucklov35 Featured By Owner Jan 31, 2015  Hobbyist General Artist
Fuck you alfonds
NarukoOkumara Featured By Owner Edited Jan 24, 2015  Student Artist
Me study ha your funny the day I pick up a text book will be the day I die. And if you ment that type of "study" I would have passed out because I'm really really REALLY shy
BlackVortex1324 Featured By Owner Jan 11, 2015  Hobbyist Artist
Al dat timin' dou! XD This is a great fanfic, dude... or dudette... -_-'
CitrusOtakuTea Featured By Owner Dec 17, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Nikkirubinstein Featured By Owner Dec 12, 2014  Student Writer

Sorry I had to do this ;-;

Girl: Do u even want to be with me forever?
Boy: No
Girl: Do u even like me?
Boy: No
Girl: Would u cry if i walked away?
Boy: No
She heard enough and was hurt... She walked away with tears in her eyes
The boy grabbed her arm
Boy: Your not pretty...your beautiful
Boy: I dont want to be with u forever...I need to be with u forever
Boy: I dont like u...I love u
Boy: I wouldn't cry if u walked away......I would die if u walked away.
Boy Whispers: Plz stay with me
Girl: I will...
*Tonight at midnight your true love will realize they loves u
*Something good will happen to u at 1-4pm
*Tomorrow it could be anywhere!!!
*Get ready for the shock of your life!
*If u dont post this to 5 other comments... You will have baD luck in relationships for the next 10 years
fmageek77 Featured By Owner Dec 9, 2014  Hobbyist Artist
i wonder if a certain someone is watching from above...
hughes: told ya, truth
truth: fine *throws bag of gold at hughes*
hughes: oh... I feel like im watching porn...
fmageek77 Featured By Owner Nov 18, 2014  Hobbyist Artist
They were studying "health" with real examples of how the "things" work. I hope I'm wrong.But if I'm right that means one thing............... BLACK MAIL!!!(also, a good birthday gift for Roy)OMG MOAR POEMS!
Edwardcrusher Featured By Owner Nov 29, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Lol man. Funny!
fmageek77 Featured By Owner Dec 2, 2014  Hobbyist Artist
Thanks. Automail Fist Bump!!!!
ILikeToDrawHomestuck Featured By Owner Nov 11, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Studying female anatomy ;D
homestucklov35 Featured By Owner Jan 31, 2015  Hobbyist General Artist
You fellow homestuck lover
ILikeToDrawHomestuck Featured By Owner Jan 31, 2015  Hobbyist General Artist
Hell yeah I am. :D
homestucklov35 Featured By Owner Jan 31, 2015  Hobbyist General Artist
ILikeToDrawHomestuck Featured By Owner Jan 31, 2015  Hobbyist General Artist
homestucklov35 Featured By Owner Feb 15, 2015  Hobbyist General Artist
Nightdragon76 Featured By Owner Oct 28, 2014  Hobbyist Digital Artist
They are studying the human body I think..
paigertlol Featured By Owner Oct 18, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
ed is still studying, he is studying girls
Lucijohn Featured By Owner Sep 24, 2014
Maybe it's just me but I prefer relationship building before "studying" y'know
SIT-ART Featured By Owner Aug 30, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
wait, if al has his body back then why does ed still have automail?
CypherOptics Featured By Owner Aug 30, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
its wasnt a canon story. aka i wrote this a looooooong time ago, changing things to get the point and humor across.
SIT-ART Featured By Owner Aug 31, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
oh that makes more sense
FullmetalAndCatLover Featured By Owner Aug 5, 2014  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
The highlight if my life: reading Edward x readers for fun:3333 this was cute:3 great!
elyanaxlevilove Featured By Owner Aug 2, 2014  Student Digital Artist
Pom icon Read the Description 
Victoria0502 Featured By Owner Jul 25, 2014
*blushes* By studying do mean ........ Ya know. Ahhhhhhh but who cares can you make a lemon Edward x reader please
ReaperInsanity Featured By Owner Jul 22, 2014
moments with mustang: XD
Moments in café: XD
Moment in Kitchen when Al walks in: AL! I'M GOING TO KILL YOU FOR EMBARRASSING ME!
Overall Score: Extremely funny, cute, and AMAZING! Good Job!
AnimeShipper4Life Featured By Owner Jul 18, 2014  Hobbyist Artist
Ray711 Featured By Owner Jul 6, 2014  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
...I have nothing to say...
BreezeTheEevee124 Featured By Owner Jul 5, 2014   Filmographer
Pffft I can't learn....
ThorxMexThor Featured By Owner Jul 3, 2014  Hobbyist Writer

iloveallhetaliastuff Featured By Owner Jul 2, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
lol that part about the german kinda rminded me of belarus from hetalia
emmalynncat Featured By Owner May 31, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
"Now go do whatever Edwards do."
Or is it...
whoever Edwards do~?
//le shot senseless
NoraOuran90 Featured By Owner Dec 18, 2014
YunaAmakura Featured By Owner May 3, 2014
Hell, this is the best story ever!!
Poor Al... xD we leave him behind... not that I wanted an audience watching the accion eighter xD
MidnaPlayer Featured By Owner Apr 23, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
ö such fluff! thats my edward!
Edwardcrusher Featured By Owner May 18, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
I now right that is sooooooo my edward!!! So shmexy and stuff like that (big sigh) why dose he have to be so god dame hot and shmexy all the time?!!!!
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